laura

when do i get a break?
09/07/2008

since my son was born my partner hasnt even once got up on a weekend before 11 and let me have a lie in.my son is now 6 months.when questioned he says he works 9-5 mon 2 fri so he deserves a weekend.im up at the crack of dawn every morning doing everything.he seems 2 be wanting more freedom since he was born but when he is asked by people how his son is he comes across as the doting dad and if people come round he is all over our son but behind closed doors i do everything i cant remember the last time he changed his nappy or bottle without me asking him 2 do so.i get so fustrated and feel so alone sometimes.need advice......

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melissa

Re: when do i get a break?
09/07/2008

hi laura...i know exactly how u feel!! at least ur partner will do something if u ask...i get no response from mine! i just get nagged at that the house isnt as clean as he'd like!! i just dont think they realise we have a 24/7 job that we cant leave! i always get the 'i'll do it in a minute' line...by that time im that annoyed that he hasnt bothered that i do it myself! ive tried communicating and get nothing....have you tried discussing this with ur partner? i hope things are better for us both soon. Take care xx

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Sabrina

Re: when do i get a break?
10/07/2008

hey, I know exactly how you feel. My little boy is now 18months, and i have NEVER had a lie in past 7am! my partner lies in his bed on the weekends no earlier than 1pm!! no joke! I also work (albiet part time) but he said this is my breakyeh right.... i am working when im not with my son! He does nothing around the house either. Totaly joke it makes me soo angry.... he'll never change.... xxx

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kimberley

Re: when do i get a break?
10/07/2008

hiya.. i know how you feel in some ways like your partner wont do anything with your little boy until you ask.. because me bf most of the time is the same.. some days hes really good like he'll just go and change his bum, but i cant complain.. my bf baths our little boy everynight.. gives me 30 mins to have 'me time' and he as always done this.. and when hes not working he lets me have a lie in.. but i still get up early becuase all my little boy does is cry when his dad gets up with him.. because he is only used to me in a morning... i get so annoyed some times becuase our little boy will be crying in the room and i have to say to my bf are you talking to him because i dont here him talking, winds me up.. but i think all dads are the same kym xx

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laura

Re: when do i get a break?
10/07/2008

hi im so glad somebody is giong thr it 2 it feels like ure the only 1 sometimes! everytime i try and say 2 him could he do a bit more 2 help me out he comes out with the line why dont u try doing a physical job like myne 5 days a week" i wouldnt mind if he didnt have a employee that actually does most of the work 4 him and he is home by 4pm if he doesnt go 2 the pub after work which happens most nights.he says he would love 2 stay at home with finlay and sit around watching tele all day-like its actually like that! ive had 2 give up my car so i cant get around so easily at the moment and he expects me 2 have the house looking like a show home,food in the fridge like its so easy doing asda when u have a 6 month old 2 tend 2.i almost feel like a single mum.why r they so selfish? i think he has bonded with him but it certainly hasnt changed his life like myne.he even said 2 me the other day i think we should have another baby next year i couldnt believe it that wont be happening. they think its so easy 4 us and almost feel resentment that they r out providing whilst we r out of work i wouldnt mind if he actually paid 4 finlays food clothes etc i do it all and always have.i sometimes feel like i have no life and he does my days r just the same every day sometimes i cry out 4 a break! xx

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kate

Re: when do i get a break?
10/07/2008

Ladies all i can say is get rid of the useless lot, i did and now have a lovely man- by now means perfect, i do have to keep him in check now and again but my life is so much happy now.

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Lindsay-Grace

Re: when do i get a break?
20/07/2008

HI, my hubby use to be the same and if i asked him to do anything baby related he'd have excuse after excuse so i went back to work evenings and week ends forcing my man to be responsible for jacob 3 nights and all day saturday. It worked a charm. I get 3 nights and 1 whole day a week with adult conversation away from nappies and sleeping habiats, a small wage and staff percks. Jacob can now go to bed for daddy, be good and have loads of fun with daddy all day saturdays and i no longer have to ask hubby to do stuff (toddler stuff washing up and hoovering still gets left for me) as he now does it with out thinking. Take some me time like a job or a night out with the girls (and your mum so he can't use her for babysitting.) give him no choose but to get on with it.

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Emma

Re: when do i get a break?
23/07/2008

Hi - don't want to gloat but I think I've found the perfect man! I do have to nag him sometimes. We're both in the forces, he is based in Germany at the mo, and gets home about 1 weekend in 3. although he works hard, he knows that I do too with a full time job and looking after Louise, 14 months. So when he is home for the weekend I get a lie in, which is so nice, and he does alot of the nappy changing and feeding whilst I get on with doing everything else, which to me is a break, even though I'm still doing things. This came about cos I made my other half look after Louise on his own for a whole day, and he realised its not as easy as it looks. Go away for a weekend with some girl friends and get him to look after the baby, he might be different after that

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Natasha

Re: when do i get a break?
23/07/2008

hi girls we need a mans point off view on this i think???my man is no means perfect but is a great dad and gives me more lye ins then i do him i always do the night feeds when the children are babies mainly because he works and i breast feed but he changes nappies plays ect some times i need to ask but as we are on our 2nd and expecting twins his an expert now he says that we both decided to have children so we have to do it together.but don't get me wrong i have often moaned at him whens my day off??as we mums do it 24/7 and dads get to do the fun stuff so now we take it in turns to have breaks even going shopping and leaving the kids at home is a break dads need to understand it is tough but unless they want to listen they wont understand good luck just keep trying tasha

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BECKY

Re: when do i get a break?
03/08/2008

OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT I WAS ALL ALONE UNTIL I READ ALL THOSE. AS IF GOING THROUGH PREGNANCY AINT ENOUGH THEN GOING THROUGH LABOUR AND WHY IS IT THEY ALWAYS THINK THEY WORK HARDER THAN US MUMMIES DO. MY PARTNER DOESNT EVEN CHANGE HER NAPPIES OR HE DOENST KNOW WHAT SHE HAS TO EAT. AND HE HAS THE NERVE TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN HE DOESNT THINK IM DOING SOMTHING RIGHT. I USED TO BE A NANNY AND RAISED LOADS OF BABIES WHERE LEAH IS HIS FIRST AND HAS NO EXPERINCE AT ALL.

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helen

Re: when do i get a break?
11/09/2008

dont let his use the excuse of work for not helping. My husband has his own business and works from 5am until 7 or 8 seven days a week 365 days a year (yes he has to open the shop even on christmas day) he still does the first nappy of the morning and the whole of the bedtime routine. There is no excuse for not helping. Does he not realise that he is missing out on bonding with his child!!

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nicole

Re: when do i get a break?
15/09/2008

wow, so many other dads the same, my little boy is 21 months and i still haven't had a lie in, some sat nights i work till 1.30am and have to be back at work for 1130, luckily tho' son has got really clingy to dad so as soon as he gets home from pub he all over him and not me. took over a year before he changed nappy and scarily we have another on the way just hope things will be different and get more help.

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Emma

Re: when do i get a break?
17/09/2008

i can't believe you're all letting your partners get away with being so lazy!! I look after my baby on my own most of the time as my partner is away, and i know is works hard but so do I. I work full time too, so when he's home we take it in turns to have a lie-in and it really works.

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James

Re: when do i get a break?
03/11/2008

Hello all, am a first timer on this forum. My daughter is 2 years and 2 months old, although she was 8 weeks early. I have a reasonable idea that I spend more time with my daughter compared to other Dads, but my wife does still do the majority of the work having 2 days off work a week to look after Evie. I am totally happy to play with Evie, change nappies, feed her, go out for a walk, get dressed and ready for nursery (which I did for the 1st 18 months until I moved jobs and came back to London. BUT I am the first to admit that straight after work I quite like a rest for about an hour and a bit of peace and quiet before I do bath time/bedtime. In my opinion all blokes are different with their view on parenting, for me I want Evie to know that her Dad is not just there for the odd bit of good advice and stability but also for fun and cuddles and play too.

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