Hi, my little girl is 10 months and for the past week has ended up in our bed around 10-11pm onwards. Goes down in cot fine but then decides is wide awake and won't sleep in her cot. I'm back to work full-time now and the easiest thing has been to bring her in with me but this is becoming bit of a habit now! Anyone else in the same boat? We left her on Sat night but she just cried non stop for nearly an hour!! Thanks Jac & Holly 10 months x

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Hi, I can understand how easy it is to do this but in the long term your doing your child nor yourself any favours. You need to be firm and consistant re: returing them back to their own bed/cot. A cuddle , a bit of comfort if they wake but nothing else. The bottom line is if the child knows that by waking you will take them into your bed then they will continue to do it. A few nights and a few tears you will have but just offering a quick cuddle and some verbal reasurrance they will get back into the habit of dropping off to sleep in their own cot/bed. There is no other way around it! by doing this you will have a few more sleepless hours each night whilst they reajust but thats the price you pay for taking them into your bed. Good Luck, Vicky x

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you really aint doin urself no favas...... my mum done it wiv my bruva an he stayed in her bed til he was 3 because he new he cud get his own way.. love always and good luk

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i know everyone says you're not doing yourself any favours but I am in the same situation with my daughter. she's 18 months old, and for the past month has been poorly with a viral infection then a nasty cold - so when she's woken up in the night she's just wanted in my bed. I am on my own at the mo as my partner is away in Kuwait with the Army. I work full time with a very demanding job so the easiest thing has been to let her in my bed. Now she's better I've tried being tough with her. She goes to sleep fine by herself in her bed, but from around 11pm onwards she could wake up and want in with - but like your child she'll just cry and cry until I let her in my bed. Its not easy, but you're just going to have to be tough. I'm going to try it on a weekend so that I'm not so tired, it should only take a couple of days. And I don't want her sleeping in my bed when her daddy come home in 3 weeks! Just try to be patient, and its so horrible hearing them cry through the night when all you want to do is go to sleep! Good luck x

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Hi, Emma, I think when your child is sick, your worried about them, they are upset, in a lot of discomfort etc so I can understand you taking your child into your bed (with my daughter I spent the occasions when she was sick sleeping with her in her bed, or on a mattress next to her cot when she moved into her own room aged 12 months) I think under those circumstances sleeping/taking them into your bed wasnt about you 'taking the easy option' but instead you were doing your best as a mother to offer care and comfort to your sick child, and any decent mother should do the same. I do think you did the right thing, but I do believe under most other circs a child should be encouraged to remain in their own bed. Vicky

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Hi, I have a similar problem with my little girl. She used to sleep through the night in her cot just fine, but lately she's been really suffering with teething pain and wanting to come into my bed in the middle of the night for comfort. What works best for us is to let her snuggle in my bed for about 1/2 hour - 1 hour, and then when she has fallen back into a deep sleep I sneak her back into her cot, and after that she's usually fine to stay in her cot for the rest of the night. There's nothing wrong with letting your daughter sleep in bed with you at night if that is what you are all happy with, but personally I can't sleep properly with a toddler in my bed as she is so wriggly, that's why I always encourage her to sleep in her own cot. It's pretty normal for some babies to wake up and fuss a bit during the night, but if she's crying for more than about 10 minutes she obviously needs you, so I would definitely get up and do whatever is necessary to comfort her. All children eventually decide they want to sleep all night in their own bed, so it's not like you have to worry about it becoming a life-long habit, I don't know anyone whose kid has slept with them past the age of three. Sylv, Thomas 4 & Abigail 13 months

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Hi, The best thing to do is to put her back in her bed before she gets any older and too used to sleeping in your bed. Maybe you could try by giving her a drink of water and a teddy bear and tell her shes a good girl and its night nights time now whilst stroking her hair then give her a kiss and leave the room, If she crys the house down just leave her for a while then go back in and do the same routine again and again and probably again, She will soon get to know she has to stay in her own bed. It worked for me after the 4th night, She is 2 now and goes to bed at 7pm and wakes up about 7.30am. Hope this helps. Good luck Donna.

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Please!!! who wants their child sleeping in their bed until they are three!! I love my children dearly but when its bedtime they are in their own beds!! i want my kids to be independant, to know the boundaries and to have a routine! and it doesnt include sleeping in my bed. its a bad habit, and as for letting the children decide when to return to their own beds!!! No No No!! this is called weak parenting!! letting the children make the decisions!! No, we are the parents, we set the boundaries, who wants spoilt children who demand to get their own way with parents to weak to challenge them, so they give in for an easy life!! but its not an easy life cause you end up with demanding kids! I see it all the time through my work with 10 to 17 years olds, most of their negative behaviours/family probs resultin from parents who dont set the boundaries, take control.

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Wow- I also would'nt want my child in bed with us either, however you are really rude and judgemental. If people are not bothered by it, it's not going to do any long term damage; for generations children have slept with parents and still do in many cultures. I can't believe how rightous and unwilling to see things from another point of view you are. Why is it some parents always believe their way is the only way.

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