Hi, iv got 2 children and I had them close 2gether (19months and 6 months) and I havent lost all my baby weight, and all my partner does is call me fat and ugly all the time. Its really getting me down I feel so miserable and its making me not want to leave the house cos I feel so ugly. Iv stopped eating and I feel really ill, but the comments still dont stop, I cant leave cos Iv got nowhere to go please help I dont know wot to do.

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Speak to your GP or health visitor. This is domestic abuse and you should be able to get rehoused with your kids with the council. They might put you up in a B&B for a short while but you get more points that way and a flat/house a lot quicker (took me two months). The worst thing you can do is show your partner that he has control over you and affects the way you feel. You need to show him that you have a mind of your own, don't need him and are independant from him. Believe me, he will soon change his attitude because he will then feel that he may lose you! Keep yourself and your babies busy, go and stay with a friend (without telling him!) and don't answer his calls all the time. This will drive him crazy. If he puts you down, don't become emotional. Stay calm and firmly say 'I do not appreciate you trying to put me down. Please keep your harsh comments to yourself'. Then leave (go to the park or whatever) and let him think about what he's done. You're not a doormat! Goodluck!

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That is really shocking, I can't imagine ever being with someone who put me down like that - I get comments at work sometimes about the things that I eat and thats hurtful enough (even silly things like I shouldn't eat white bread!). The thing is, you'll never lose weight whilst you're feeling like this, you have to lose weight for YOU, no-one else. You've given this man 2 babies and he's still not happy! Tell him that you're not going to put up with it and that you've been to the council about a house for you and your children to live and see what he says. It may be hard to leave, but in the long run it will harder and harder, and you will not enjoy your children because you are depressed about all of this. I agree with the other post - talk to your GP about it, they can sometimes help with you getting housing etc. Good luck, and don't put up with it

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Oh hun dont put up with that. Defo get on to the council they have a legal duty to help you and your babies as your possibly in danger as well as if affecting your health. I was once beaten regurly by a partner and I found the mental abuse was much worse. I know it will be hard for you but you have to think of yourself and you babies. Besides what does he want you to look like. Lets face it we are real women we dont have personal trainers at home and nannies to do it for us and able to go back to a size 0 4 weeks afetr giving birth. SORRY IM WAFFLING ON. Plz get in touch with h/v and the council. If no joy there post a reply and i'll give you a couple of conatct details for domestic abuse viticms from when I went through it. Hugs and keep your chin up Becky and Baby leah

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hey chick i no how your feeling i had the same thing please dnt thing you are stuck coz your not like the other posts say but when i went through it i stayed bcoz i loved my partner and new that there was a completly diff person in there but after months of him trying to control me i uped and left with our son and it gave him a kick up the bum into reality we eventually lived together again but under my rules and he wudnt dare call me fat or ugly or anything else dnt get me wrong we still had arguments but he will learn the hard way please get back in contol he is playing mind games with you get him where it hurts and show him wat he hasnt actually got without you and your kids bcoz you are more than likely the only person who dos actually care xxx good luck chickxx

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